Cell Phone in Church

Our choir had rehearsed long and hard for the cantata. The big night arrived.  I prepared for the event before I even got out of my car by turning my cell phone ringer off.  So glad I remembered that. 

People started pouring in.  Everyone knew everyone.  The volume escalated.  When the minister began the service, the silence was deafening.  We stood for an opening prayer.

About ten seconds into the prayer, I heard someone’s cell phone go off behind me, and – darndest thing - their ring tone was the same tune as my cell phone's alarm!   I spent a moment thinking about that coincidence.  Then I realized it was my alarm.  I scrambled through my purse for the phone, crouched on the seat (as if no one would know I was there) and fumbled with it until I got it turned off.  It’s so easy to turn off when I’m not in a panic.  Mental note - the ring silencer doesn’t silence the alarm. 

After that humiliation, I turned the volume off completely.  We finished singing, then the choir sang, then the congregation sang again - and my snooze alarm vibrated and buzzed.  It has never buzzed that loud before.  In my frenzied panic, I couldn’t turn that phone off to save my life!  So I sat on it.  That works in the car.  When I do that, I can’t even hear it ring, much less buzz.  It didn’t work on the church pew.

While sitting on the egg I had laid (proverbially speaking), I mentally rehearsed what I would do to turn it off, then I removed it from under my derriere, turned it off, and put it back into my purse. 

I stood again to sing, trying to compose myself.  Then my purse (with the phone in it) fell off the pew with a loud bang. 

The Bible says, “Judge not, lest ye be judged.”  I vow never again to be critical when someone’s cell phone goes off in church.