SALAMANDER HEATER

High of 31 degrees? Jason was supposed to install vinyl on a vehicle Monday. The last time we had a cold spell he almost resigned. I had to do something to get him some heat. My husband George said a Salamander heater would do the trick.

Salamander?

Yes. They use them to keep crops from freezing.

Outside?

Yes, that’s where crops live. It blows hot air. Loggers use them, too.

My husband is full of information.

I spent some time Googling Salamanders to no avail, but I did find a commercial heater for rent. Monday morning George and I got into our new van and I turned south instead of north and he asked why. “To rent the heater,” I said.

“In this van? No way!” He grumbled all the way to Garner. How many ways can a person say that something’s a bad idea? Turns out he was right. We drove to the shop empty handed.

Not admitting how mad I was at myself for wasting time, I put on a happy face, got into the dirty, nasty work van and drove back to pick up the dirty, nasty heater alone – in peace and quiet. I think it would have been World War III if George and I had gotten into that van together just then.

The guy at the rental store said I would need to put some kerosene in the heater. “Where can I buy a can of that?” He looked at me kind of funny and said there’s a kerosene pump at the gas station across the street. Heck, I didn’t know kerosene came in pumps.

I parked the van beside the pump and got out, planning to fill the heater while it sat in the van. Oh no! What kind of a crazy pump would have a three foot hose? I wrestled the heater to the ground and over to the pump. While filling it I scanned my poor brain for an idea for getting it back into the van. A nice truck driver had been watching this debacle. Seeing me at a dead end (and wit’s end, too), he walked over, picked up the heater and put it into the van.

Mad at Jason for being cold, mad at George for being right, and mad at myself for being so stubborn, I drove back to the shop. I imagine that truck driver was wondering what kind of person would send a woman out in the cold to do this. He didn’t know I got into this predicament all by myself.