4/18/14

HIDDEN SWEATPANTS



Did you ever want to announce to the world that you didn’t pick out the clothes your child is wearing?  When he was about eight, my son Fred had a favorite pair of sweatpants.  I wish I had a nickel for every time he put them on dirty and sneaked out of the house before I saw what he was wearing. 

One time I hid them in the bottom of the laundry hamper.  He looked there but didn’t dig down far enough.  Laundry day arrived and I pulled those sweatpants out to wash them.  Fred saw me and grabbed them, and we had a tug of war right beside the washing machine.  I held his wrist, so he wouldn’t rip them apart in the crotch, and I tried to reason with him.  That never works, but I always try it.

Gagging at the stench, I said, “Let me wash them.”  He said, “They’re not dirty.”  I shoved them into his face and said, “Smell them.”  He said, “They smell fine to me.”  I could see that he was immune to both odor and reason.  I turned on the washing machine and said, “They’ll be dry before you come home.”  He looked disgusted and threw them in – just like that!  I don’t know why.  Can someone tell me what makes kids tick?

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