Tan

Tan

The clerk at the hotel in Cancun asked me how long I was staying on my vacation. When I said, "I'm leaving tomorrow," she raised her eyebrows in surprise and started to speak, then sort of stopped and smiled and hesitated - you know, like you do when you just asked someone when the baby's due and she says she's not pregnant.

I said, "What?"

She said, "Well, you don't have any tan."

I laughed and told her how much I hate getting too hot. I'm 61. I don't need to worry about a tan any more. Plus, it's healthier.

But in the airport, a beautiful girl sat down near us. She was tanned smoothly and evenly from her long blond hair to the tops of her polished toenails. And all I've got to show from my trip to Cancun is a few blue bruises!