SCATTER BRAIN

Part of a series of stories I wrote while living in Wisconsin in the 80s

I have been plagued with a bad memory all my life.  I’ve even been called a “scatter brain.”  Now I’m plagued with scatter brained children.  When it all hits in the same day, I feel like I’m trying to fight back Lake Michigan.

One morning before school last week my son Fred asked me where his coat was.  He had asked me where his watch was the night before.  He had asked me where the turtle’s worms were, too.  I wondered how he thought I knew all these things, even though I did happen to know that his Tae Kwon Do pants were at City Hall.

Fred planned to ride his bike that day.  He looked in the garage and it was gone.  He asked me where it was, like I had been riding it or something.  He found it where he himself had hidden it while playing hide.

Then my daughter Susan said she wanted to watch the VCR tape she had forgotten to watch the night before, and would I drive her to school late today.  At the bus stop, she asked, “Will you feed my turtle today?”  The turtle we had bought the day before was on a hunger strike, and I got a mental image of myself coaxing it to eat a worm.  I replied NO, but I would check in on it from time to time to see if it was upside down.

Fred said he owed the school for the lunch he forgot to take yesterday, and Susan said she owed for the milk ticket she forgot.

After they left for school, I found the check I wrote to the school and gave Fred to put in his pocket.  I threw out the pizza I forgot to refrigerate overnight and fed the dog, who hadn’t come home in time for bed and ended up sleeping outside.  I searched for the past due library book, the Christmas gift I kept forgetting to exchange, and my list of phone calls I forgot to make the day before.

I try to help my kids overcome forgetfulness by making them take the consequences for their forgotten duties.  That reminds me, I forgot to make Fred go to bed 15 minutes early last night for forgetting to clean his room.

I think it’s hereditary.  I think it’s a losing battle, too.