TAXI CITY

Part of a series of stories I wrote while living in Wisconsin in the 80s

“YIPPEE! This taxi is off duty!”  I silently screamed.  My hubby had gotten home early and he had offered to drive the daughter to the movie.  That meant picking up two extra riders, naturally.  Rule #1 in Taxi City:  Children must never go anywhere without bringing friends along.

He asked what time the movie started.  “7:00.”  He asked me what time he had to pick up the friends.  “Don’t know.”  He asked how long it would take to get to the movie via friends’ houses.  “39 minutes.  That’s one minute to the first house, one minute stop, six minutes to second house, one minute stop, seventeen minutes to movie, one minute stop, twelve minutes home.”  Rule #2 in Taxi City:  Mother’s mental map and calculator must be available at all times.

He asked if I wanted to ride along.  I bit my tongue and did not say, “Are you crazy?”  Instead, I said, “No thanks.  I have to wait for our son’s friend’s mother’s taxi service to bring him home.”  Also thinking, “Thank goodness it’s her turn.”  Rule #3 in Taxi City:  Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Hubby said he might shop for a lawn mower on his way home.  He knew I wanted a different one than he wanted.  Now I understood his generous offer to play taxi driver.  Rule #4 in Taxi City:  When it comes to taxi drivers’ benefits, anything goes.  It’s squatters rights.  He catches on fast.